No one is more ill-equipped to raise children than young parents. And no one knows this, by the way, better than young parents.
Most parents come to the job of parenting with very little life experience. They're hardly finished being parented themselves. They're still looking for answers, still searching for clues.
They haven't even discovered themselves yet, and they're trying to guide and nurture discovery in others even more vulnerable than they. They haven't even defined themselves, and they're thrust into the act of defining others. They are still trying to get over how badly they have been mis-defined by their parents.
They haven't even discovered yet Who They Are, and they're trying to tell you who you are. And the pressure is so great for them to get it right—yet they can't even get their own lives "right." So they get the whole thing wrong—their lives, and the lives of their children.
If they're lucky, the damage to their children won't be too great. The offspring will overcome it—but not, probably, before passing some on to their offspring.
Most of you gain the wisdom, the patience, the understanding, and the love to be wonderful parents after your parenting years are over.
Neale: Why is this? I don't understand this. I see that Your observation is in many cases correct, but why is this?
Because young child-makers were never intended to be child-raisers. Your child- raising years should really begin when they are now over.
Neale: I'm still a little lost here.
Human beings are biologically capable of creating children while they are children themselves—which, it may surprise most of you to know, they are for 40 or 50 years.
Neale: Human beings are "children themselves" for 40 or 5O years?
From a certain perspective, yes. I know this is difficult to hold as your truth, but look around you. Perhaps the behaviors of your race might help prove My point.
The difficulty is that in your society, you are said to be "all grown up" and ready for the world at 21. Add to this the fact that many of you were raised by mothers and fathers who were not much older than 21 themselves when they began raising you, and you can begin to see the problem.
If child-bearers were meant to be child-raisers, child bearing would not have been made possible until you were fifty!
Child bearing was meant to be an activity of the young, whose bodies are well developed and strong. Child raising was meant to be an activity of the elders, whose minds are well developed and strong.
In your society you have insisted on making child- bearers responsible for child raising—with the result that you've made not only the process of parenting very difficult, but distorted many of the energies surrounding the sexual act as well as.