聽神談【為何人類到四五十歲之前,還是孩童?】

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聽神談【為何人類到四五十歲之前,還是孩童
 
沒有人比年輕的父母更不適宜養育小孩。順便一提,沒有人比年輕的父母更了解這一點。大部分父母來到「開始做父母的工作」時,都僅擁有非常少的人生經驗。他們幾乎都沒完成自己為人父母的準備,有的連自己都難以照顧。他們仍在找尋答案,仍在尋求線索。
 
他們還在摸索,甚至尚未了解自己,而他們卻在試圖引導和培育那比他們更容易受傷的人。他們甚至連對自己的定義都還沒做,就被推入要去對別人做定義。他們還在力圖克服「他們的父母對他們的錯誤定義」的階段中。
 
他們甚至對「自己是誰」都還沒有發現,而他們卻在試圖告訴你「你是誰」。但要把這些都搞定的壓力是如此巨大——然而他們甚至連自己的生活都無法「搞定」。因此,他們把整個生活都曲解了——他們的生活,以及他們孩子的生活。
 
如果他們幸運,對他們孩子的傷害不至於太大。他們的孩子可以克服——但很可能是在他們也對他們自己的孩子做出一些傷害之後。
 
你們大部分的人,是在你們養育孩子的工作已結束多年之後才獲得成為很棒的父母(wonderful parents)所具備的耐心,智慧與愛心的。
 
尼爾:為什麼會這樣?我不懂。我知道你的觀察在很多方面是正確的。但我不懂為什麼會是這樣。
 
因為年輕的「生育者」從來就不是意圖準備要成為「養育者」(young child-makers were never intended to be child-raisers)。你們養育兒童的年齡應該是從「你們目前在養育兒童的年齡已過之後」才真的開始。
 
尼爾:這裡我還有點聽不懂。
 
當人類在生理上還有能力生育孩子時,自己尚是個孩子(Human beings are biologically capable of creating children while they are children themselves)。這點可能會讓你們大部分人很吃驚,人類這樣的孩童期是四十或五十年的時間(註:神的意思是人類的孩童期,不是我們一般認為的一二十年,或二三十年。也就是說,人類到四五十歲之前,都還在孩童期。)
 
尼爾:人類有四十年或五十年的時間,自己還在「孩童」期?(Human beings are “children themselves” for 40 or 50 years?)
 
從某個角度來看,沒錯。我知道要把這個看法視為你們的真相很困難。但是看看你們的周遭人類的行為或許可以證明我的看法。
 
 
困難在於你們的社會被教導說,你們在二十一歲時「已經長大成人」,並對這世界已經準備好。使這情況困難更加重的是,你們的父母親在開始養育你們時,有許多父母的年紀比二十一歲大不了多少。你可以開始看見問題所在了吧。
 
如果「生育孩子的人」必須要是「養育孩子的人」,則生孩子的事就等要到你們五十歲以後才有可能!
 
 
生孩子的事本應由年輕人去做,因為他們的身體已發育健全且強壯了。養育孩子的事本應由年長的人去做,那是因為他們的心智已發展好且強大了。
 
但在你們的社會,你們卻堅持生孩子的人必須負責養育孩子——結果是,你們不但使得做父母的育兒工作十分艱困,也把許多環繞著性行為(sexual act)的能量給扭曲了。
 
 
摘自《與神對話III》第1章 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
No one is more ill-equipped to raise children than young parents. And no one knows this, by the way, better than young parents.
 
Most parents come to the job of parenting with very little life experience. They're hardly finished being parented themselves. They're still looking for answers, still searching for clues.
 
They haven't even discovered themselves yet, and they're trying to guide and nurture discovery in others even more vulnerable than they. They haven't even defined themselves, and they're thrust into the act of defining others. They are still trying to get over how badly they have been mis-defined by their parents.
 
They haven't even discovered yet Who They Are, and they're trying to tell you who you are. And the pressure is so great for them to get it right—yet they can't even get their own lives "right." So they get the whole thing wrong—their lives, and the lives of their children.
 
If they're lucky, the damage to their children won't be too great. The offspring will overcome it—but not, probably, before passing some on to their offspring.
 
Most of you gain the wisdom, the patience, the understanding, and the love to be wonderful parents after your parenting years are over.
 
Neale: Why is this? I don't understand this. I see that Your observation is in many cases correct, but why is this?
 
Because young child-makers were never intended to be child-raisers. Your child- raising years should really begin when they are now over.
 
Neale: I'm still a little lost here.
 
Human beings are biologically capable of creating children while they are children themselves—which, it may surprise most of you to know, they are for 40 or 50 years.
 
Neale: Human beings are "children themselves" for 40 or 5O years?
 
From a certain perspective, yes. I know this is difficult to hold as your truth, but look around you. Perhaps the behaviors of your race might help prove My point.
 
The difficulty is that in your society, you are said to be "all grown up" and ready for the world at 21. Add to this the fact that many of you were raised by mothers and fathers who were not much older than 21 themselves when they began raising you, and you can begin to see the problem.
 
If child-bearers were meant to be child-raisers, child bearing would not have been made possible until you were fifty!
 
Child bearing was meant to be an activity of the young, whose bodies are well developed and strong. Child raising was meant to be an activity of the elders, whose minds are well developed and strong.
 
In your society you have insisted on making child- bearers responsible for child raising—with the result that you've made not only the process of parenting very difficult, but distorted many of the energies surrounding the sexual act as well as.
 
 

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