正視【社會裡「年輕的父母養育小孩」有何不妥?】

瀏覽人數 2359
在這篇神對「人類的自然情緒普遍長期地被壓抑,產生許多社會問題」的觀察建言裡,祂提出了一個重要的關鍵:因為你們用不適當的人在做育兒的工作。
 
你可能認為「有那麼嚴重嗎?」但相信我,這是一個「若要邁向真正和諧喜悅的社會,人類必須更積極面對」的新觀念。讓我們從自己做起,從主動去正視和了解前幾篇人類的自然情緒為何普遍被壓抑,到這篇新觀念所談的重點,和它的後續相關文章,共同幫助我們社會加速文明演化!
 
 
 
 
 
 
正視【社會裡「年輕的父母養育小孩」有何不妥?
 
當人們自然的情緒長期被壓抑,會變成不自然的反應和回應。人們會因此而殺人,而引發戰爭,而毀城滅國。 而大部分的自然情緒在大部分人身上是受到壓抑(Most natural emotions are repressed in most people.)。然而,這些情緒卻是你們的朋友。它們是你們的禮物。它們是你們用來雕塑你們的經驗的神聖工具
 
你們都與生俱有這些工具。它們是用來幫助你們周旋和跨越人生的工具。
 
尼爾:那為什麼大部分人的這些情緒都被壓抑呢?
 
他們被教導要壓抑這些自然情緒。他們被告知要如此。
 
 
尼爾:被誰教要如此?
 
他們的父母。那些養育他們的人。
 
尼爾:為什麼?他們為什麼要這樣做?
 
因為他們的父母教導他們要這樣,而他們的父母又是被他們父母的父母告知要這樣,代代相傳。
 
尼爾:對啊,沒錯。可是為什麼?到底是怎麼回事?原因何在?
 
原因是:你們用不適當的人在做育兒的工作(you have the wrong people doing the parenting 用不適和的人在做為人父母教導孩子的工作。)
 
 
尼爾:什麼意思?誰是「不適當的人」?
 
母親和父親。
 
尼爾:母親和父親是養育孩子不適當的人選?(The mother and the father are the wrong people to raise the children?)
 
當父母親還年輕時,確實是如此。大部分的父母都是如此。事實上,有這麼多父母做得很好,已經是一個奇蹟了。
 
沒有人比年輕的父母不適宜養育小孩(No one is more ill-equipped to raise children than young parents.)。順便一提,沒有人比年輕的父母更了解這一點。
 
大部分父母來到「開始做父母的工作」時,都僅擁有非常少的人生經驗。他們幾乎都沒完成自己為人父母的準備,有的連自己都難以照顧。他們仍在找尋答案,仍在尋求線索。
 
他們還在摸索,甚至尚未了解自己,而他們卻在試圖引導和培育那比他們更容易受傷的人。他們甚至連對自己的定義都還沒做,就被推入要去對別人做定義。他們還在力圖克服「他們的父母對他們的錯誤定義」的階段中。
 
 
他們甚至對「自己是誰」都還沒有發現,而他們卻在試圖告訴你「你是誰」。但要把這些都搞定的壓力是如此巨大——然而他們甚至連自己的生活都無法「搞定」。因此,他們把整個生活都曲解(they get the whole thing wrong)——他們的生活,以及他們孩子的生活。
 
 
摘自《與神對話III》第1章 
 
 
 
 
 
 
And so it is that the natural emotions, when repressed, produce unnatural reactions and responses. And most natural emotions are repressed in most people. Yet these are your friends. These are your gifts. These are your divine tools, with which to craft your experience.
 
You are given these tools at birth. They are to help you negotiate life.
 
Neale: Why are these emotions repressed in most people?
 
They have been taught to repress them. They have been told to.
 
Neale: By whom?
 
Their parents. Those who have raised them.
 
Neale: Why? Why would they do that?
 
Because they were taught by their parents, and their parents were told by theirs.
 
Neale: Yes, yes. But why? What is going on?
 
What is going on is that you have the wrong people doing the parenting.
 
Neale: What do you mean? Who are the "wrong people"?
 
The mother and the father.
 
Neale:The mother and the father are the wrong people to raise the children?
 
When the parents are young, yes. In most cases, yes. In fact, it's a miracle that so many of them do as good a job as they do.
 
No one is more ill-equipped to raise children than young parents. And no one knows this, by the way, better than young parents.
 
Most parents come to the job of parenting with very little life experience. They're hardly finished being par- ented themselves. They're still looking for answers, still searching for clues.
 
They haven't even discovered themselves yet, and they're trying to guide and nurture discovery in others even more vulnerable than they. They haven't even defined themselves, and they're thrust into the act of defining others. They are still trying to get over how badly they have been mis-defined by their parents.
 
They haven't even discovered yet Who They Are, and they're trying to tell you who you are. And the pressure is so great for them to get it right—yet they can't even get their own lives "right." So they get the whole thing wrong—their lives, and the lives of their children.
 
 
 

➣相關文章:

1.有關「生活」層面的觀念
2015/07/31
只會以「你給神的愛」的方式接受「神給你的愛」... 更多
1.「情緒」與「健康」Health
2016/11/28
羡慕(Envy)是一種自然的情緒。這是「使一位五歲的小孩想要像姐姐一樣可以夠到門把,或騎腳踏車」的情緒。... 更多
1.有關「生活」層面的觀念
2015/09/15
擔憂幾乎可以說是最糟形態的心理活動。擔憂是無意義的。它是被浪費的精神能量。它也創造出傷害身體的生化反應,產生從消化不良到心肌梗塞,以及在兩者之間的所有疾病。當擔憂停止時,健康幾乎會立即改進... 更多
1.「情緒」與「健康」Health
2016/11/21
憤怒(Anger)是一種自然的情緒。它是個讓你可以用來說「不,謝了」的工具。它不必是... 更多
人類「常易混淆的近似觀念」
2015/07/31
用 「造成問題的思維能量」在「尋求解決那問題」,是 極為愚蠢 的。   去 「重複你想制止的行為」以 「制止你想制止的行為」,是瘋狂的。在你們整個社會裡, 「處處都示範著」你們 在告訴自己的子孫說你們「不要他們去模仿」 的行為,... 更多
1.「情緒」與「健康」Health
2015/07/30
你們的心智在做決定時,的確至少是從這三個內在的層面之一在做選擇:「邏輯」、「直覺」和「情緒」──有時會從全部這三個層面在做決定,因而產生更多的內在衝突。... 更多
8.「關係 Relationships」與「相關性 Relevance」
2015/09/25
靈魂進入身體,而身體來到人生,為了是進化(evolution)的目的。你們正在進化,你們正在改變。而你正在用「... 更多
4.「性Sex」與「協同增校能量交換」
2016/08/15
你們已納為「你的真理」的價值判斷,很少是你自己的以你自身的經驗為基礎而做出的判斷。然而,... 更多