聽神談【關於「嫉妒」,如何擺脫嫉妒?】

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當我們越清楚地了解「嫉妒」,就越能夠辨識和察覺出它——一種被扭曲的自然情緒——帶給我們自己,並帶給整個人類社會的影響與傷害有多巨大。
 
此篇不僅讓我們更了解嫉妒,也啟發我們一個能真正擺脫嫉妒的「內在力量」。因為,你會發現那是一種自己被賦予內在力量(self-empowered)的層層開啟,只要你願意打破自己的舊信念,並敞開心胸地檢視這些道理,擺脫嫉妒將只是你自然會做的本能之一。歡迎儘早去開啟和探索你的內在力量,就從檢視這篇所談的道理開始:
 
 
 
 
 
 
聽神談【關於「嫉妒」,如何擺脫嫉妒?】
 
只會以「你給神的愛」的方式接受「神給你的愛」(You can only receive God's love in the way that you give God yours.)
 
尼爾:我想,對人際關係而言,也真是這樣(this is true of human relationships as well)。
 
當然。你只會以「你給別人的愛」的方式接受「他們給你的愛」。他們能一直以他們的方式愛你,你卻只能以「你自己的方式」接受它。
 
你無法體驗你不容許別人去體驗的東西(You cannot experience what you do not allow others to experience.)。而這點將帶我們進另一議題:嫉妒。
 
起源於你們選擇了以嫉妒之心愛神,你們創造了「一位懷著嫉妒心在愛人的神」的迷思。
 
尼爾:等一下。你是在說,我們嫉妒你嗎?
 
不然,你以為一位「嫉妒之神」的想法是從哪裡來的?
 
你們盡你們所能地占有我的愛。你們試圖做唯一的擁有者。你們宣稱對我的所有權,並且兇惡地如此做。你們宣告我愛你們,並且只愛你們。宣稱你們是被揀選的子民,你們是在上帝之下的國家,你們是唯一真正的教會!而對你們贈與自己的這個地位,你們非常小心地守護,唯恐失去。
 
如果某人宣稱神平等地愛所有的人,接受所有的信仰,擁抱每個國家,你們就稱之為褻瀆。如果神以有別於「你們說的神愛的方式」去愛時,你們都說那是褻瀆。
 
尼爾:蕭伯納說:所有了不起的真理,一開始都被視為褻瀆。
 
他說的沒錯。這種充滿嫉妒的愛並非我愛的方式,然而卻是你們感受我的愛的方式,因為這是你們愛我的方式
 
這也是你們愛彼此的方式,而它正在殘害你們。我真的是這個意思。由於你們的嫉妒,你們一直都在殺害彼此,或殺害自己。
 
如果你愛別人,你告訴對方他們必須愛你,並且只愛你。如果他們愛別人,你就會嫉妒。不只如此。你不只是嫉妒人,你還嫉妒他們的工作、嗜好、孩子,以及任何將你所愛的人的焦點從你身上移開的東西。你們有些人甚至會嫉妒一隻狗,或打一場高爾夫球。
 
嫉妒有許多形式。它有許多面貌。但沒有一個面貌是美麗的。
 
 
擺脫「快樂是依賴外在於你自己的任何東西」的想法,你就會擺脫嫉妒。
捨棄你認為愛是關於用「你給出什麼」去換來「你得到什麼」的想法,你便能捨棄嫉妒。
去除你「對別人的時間、精力、資財或愛的所有權」的宣告,你便能去除嫉妒。 
 
 
尼爾:沒錯,但我如何能做到呢?
 
為一個新的理由去過你的人生:
明白人生的目的不在於「你從中取得了什麼」,而全部是與「你為它付出了什麼」有關。
(Understand that its purpose has nothing to do with what you get out of it, and everything to do with what you put into it.)
 
這道理對於各種關係(relationships),也一樣是真的。
 
人生的目的是以「你對你是誰所曾抱持的下一個最偉大憧憬之最恢宏版本」,去重新創造你自己。它是去宣告和變成,表達和實現,體驗和認識你真實的自己。
 
這並不需要對你人生中的其他人——或任何特定的人——要求任何東西才能做到。這就是為何你們能夠對別人無所需求地他們(That is why you can love others without requiring anything of them.)
 
只有當你認為你自己的快樂是妥協於你所愛的人的快樂時,你才可能對那些你愛的人花時間在打高爾夫球,或在辦公室工作,或在另一個人的懷抱裡時,感到嫉妒。
 
 
摘自《與神為友》第8章
 
 
 
 
 
 
You can only receive God's love in the way that you give God yours.
 
Neale: I suppose this is true of human relationships as well.
 
Of course. You can only receive another's love in the way that you give them yours. They can love you their way as long as they want. You can only receive it your way.
 
You cannot experience what you do not allow others to experience.
 
And that brings us to the last element in this answer: jealousy.
 
Out of your decision to love God jealously, you have created the myth of a God who loves jealously.
 
Neale: Wait a minute. You're saying we are jealous of You?
 
Where do you think the idea of a jealous God came from?
 
You have tried as hard as you can to co-opt My love.
 
You have tried to be the sole owner. You have laid claim to Me, and done so viciously. You have declared that I love you, and only you. You are the chosen people, you are the nation under God, you are the one true church! And you are very jealous of this standing that you have bestowed upon yourself. If someone claims that God loves all people equally, accepts all faiths, embraces every nation, you call that blasphemy. You say it is a blasphemy for God to love in any way other than the way you say God loves.
 
Neale: George Bernard Shaw said that all great truths begin as blas­phemies.
 
He was right. This jealousy-ridden kind of love is not the way that I love, yet this is the way that you have perceived My love, because this is the way that you have loved Me.
 
This is also the way you have loved each other, and it is killing you. I mean that literally. You have been known to kill each other, or yourselves, because of your jealousies.
 
If you love another person, you tell them that they must love you, and only you. If they love another person, you become jealous. And this is not where it begins and ends. For you are not only jealous of other people, you are jeal­ous of jobs, of hobbies, of children, of anything that takes the focus of your loved one away from you. Some of you are jealous of a dog, or a game of golf.
 
Jealousy takes many forms, it has many faces. Not a one of them is beautiful.
 
Get rid of your idea that happiness depends on any­thing outside of yourself, and you will get rid of jealousy. Get rid of your thought that love is about what you get in trade for what you give, and you will get rid of jealousy. Get rid of your claim on any other person's time or energy or resources or love, and you will get rid of jealousy.
 
Neale: Yes, but how do I do that?
 
Live your life for a new reason. Understand that its pur­pose has nothing to do with what you get out of it, and everything to do with what you put into it.
This is also true of relationships.
The purpose of life is to create your Self anew, in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever you held about Who You Are. It is to announce and become, express and fulfill, experience and know your true Self.
This requires nothing of the other people in your life— or any other person in particular. That is why you can love others without requiring anything of them.
The idea of being jealous of the time that those you love spend playing golf, or working at the office, or in the arms of another is an idea that can only occur to you if you imagine that your own happiness is compromised when the one that you love is happy.
 
 

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