I have one more question.
Okay. So, I… I didn't think it's possible by change my position at work to be a facilitator. Umm… so, one of thing I find out that I really not good at conflicts.
You are not good at conflict?
Like handling conflicts like I feel like I freeze.
Umm… if I would have to track back, I would think that when I grow up, my family member is alcoholics. Maybe some of…
Alright. But that's not what I'm really asking.
What is conflict?
Well, conflict is just a lot of heat flow.
No. No. What causes conflict?
People have different opinions…
Sort of, but that's not really it.
Um…Their vibration is different. I'm just guess…
That's a side effect, but that's not really the cause. What causes conflict?
Mmm…Mmm…Each feel that in need is not being fulfilled.
If you can use your communication skills to find out what it is each believes they are missing,
what each believes they are not being fulfilled in, what is their basic wish, their basic need that they need fulfilled, which sometimes can be very simple.
Once you find that out, you may then use your imagination to find that there may be many ways,
many ways that their basic needs can be fulfilled simultaneously by something neither had thought of.
Because very often in your reality because of the compartmentalization of your consciousness and belief system,
the idea is that many people will think they need one thing and that creates the conflict, but in fact they actually need something very different and much simpler to resolve the conflict within themselves.
So you can get at the basis of what it is they feel they are missing that would fulfill them on a very fundamental level, you usually find it's very similar, even though they seem to be at odds.
They are really not. Because they're probably both feeling that something is missing that is very similar for each of them.
And that's why the conflict is there, because they are seeing a reflection from one another of something that they themselves feel is missing.
And the conflict comes from being afraid to address that and resenting being shown that by the other person, thinking that the other person is the cause of it or that their ideology is the cause of it,
when in fact it simply something they feel is missing from themselves that is very easily attained, if you understand what the basic need is that needs to be fulfilled.
So if you can have some of those conversations with each of the persons that are in conflict, and find out what their basic like “If you could just feel fulfill, what would fulfill you?”, “What is the real thing that you believe you need here in its simplest form?”
You will usually find there's more commonality between them than you think, and that alone can actually begin to resolve the conflict, because then they see commonality instead of difference.
You can do that. There's nothing to be afraid of. You can help.
I can. Thank you.
You will find generally the most of those kinds of conflicts come down to some very basic things like “I don't feel supported, I don't feel heard, I don't feel valued, I don't feel loved, I don't feel respected”. Very basic things.